Quotes.

Over the weekend, I went to a retreat at my church. It was really fun and one of the best parts was all the funny quotes I got. I'm gonna post them on here. Most of them you won't understand because they're inside jokes but some of them are funny because of what was said.

Freedom Quotes:

• Myface and Spacebook -Clayton King
• If I wanted to be nice, I'd have a cooking show like Rachel Ray. -Clayton King
• Nice people go to hell. -Clayton King
• Exsqueeze me, baking soda. -Clayton King
• Math is the devil. All the answers are 666. If you like math then I'm praying for you to be saved. -Clayton King
• Nyquil, The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so you can rest, How did I wake up naked in the bathtub? medicine. -Clayton King
• Where I come from, the cops weren't even old enough to be cops. *they started recruiting from elementary schools. -Clayton King
• God loves you because your God. *He's god.* -Clayton King
• I don't drink pot or smoke beer, I can't say the same for Michael Phelps. -Clayton King
• Don't call my dad. We don't have a phone, he can't hear, he doesn't have hands to answer the phone. -Clayton King
• It's impossible to go on more diets than Oprah. -Clayton King
• Rick, Eric, Isaac, Jeff, Seth - Michael Wood
• Smoke you some of that. -Chris White
• Speaking of socks but not really socks. -Mrs. Dysart
• I like the foliage. -Shelby Hull
• You can go to the mall with me that weekend. -Ani Simerson
• Lesbian lover (in the shower,) (secret valentine.) -Ani Simerson & I
• Away-kon. -Me
• Your like a monkey, dance monkey! (Michael Wood starts to dance.) -Chris Lovell
• You look sick, you need Jesus. -Clayton King
• There's like 25. Just kidding, jeez! -Me
• Where are the other 2 girls? "I don't know but I found my pillow." -Ruth Cooper & Shelby Hull

Other quotes:

• Elizabeth, be an owl. "I'm an owl." -Abbie Pollard & Elizabeth Brown
• Bill, getchur dog! Bill, yer dog's bitin' me. Billllll! -Elizabeth Brown and I (quoting The Butcher)
• I got your chicken caboodles. -Me (quoting The Butcher)
  
• I'm gonna punch you. I'm gonna gang punch you. -Melissa Wylie & I
• Then I was a baby! -Elizabeth Brown (quoting Sisky Biz)
• I'm gonna shank you with a biscuit. -Melissa Wylie & I
• Post-a-notes. -Mrs. Lennington
• Where they serve excelente hamburgers. AND CHICKEN! -Elizabeth Brown & I
• Elizabeth's back from rehab. She was on heroin. Heroin is bad for you. You could die. And I was about to cry because I thought you were gonna die. -Me
• My problem is that I'm bulimic. Stay away from me because I might relapse and puke all over you. -Melissa Wylie
• One time my grandma had breast cancer and we had to go pick up her fake boob on the way to the mall. -Sophie Schaeffer